Pushing the frontiers of my endurance... Rupin Pass

I had to push myself on. I couldn't take more than three steps at a stretch. My body refused to move. The 10kg rucksack on my back felt heavier than that. Resting on my trekking pole, I had to take a few deep breaths, compose myself and carry on. The occasional sip of water didn't seem to help much. Every next step took more effort than the previous. But I also knew, that every next step took me that much closer to the top.

It was day six of the seven day trek to Rupin pass. It was the day we'd actually cross the Rupin pass. We left our camp at upper waterfall at 5:30am and so far, this day had proved to be the most grueling. After three days of rather plain sailing, I had suffered from acidity. Now at 15k feet, it looked like I had a hint of altitude sickness too. Having trekked for three full hours on snow, where the micro-spikes and trekking pole had saved me from many a fall, I was looking at a steep ascent of 60 degrees where one had to walk zigzag on the slope to reach the top of Rupin pass.

Having navigated the initial climb up with the help of constant motivation from Ragha behind me, we reached the rope section. I climbed up holding the rope, taking a few breaks, some of which were enforced, some voluntary. My lungs were gasping for more air, my legs were crying out for a rest and my hands didn’t want to hold anymore. But my mind, which knew better, told them all to stop whining and get on with their work and finish the ascent. The rope climb was done with and exhaustion was taking over me. The last few feet, to be covered on feet, were beckoning. And the people above who had already reached were calling out.

We were a group of eighteen trekkers, led by three trekking staff of India Hikes, who in turn were assisted by three more technical staff members to navigate sections such as these. We had grown close over the days as a group. It was a group with an interesting mix. The group had first time trekkers and veteran trekkers, had a few amateur and pro photographers, had people from many parts of India and even one from Malaysia. But most importantly, it was a group that knew how to have fun together!

It probably was their shouts, combined with the knowledge that I had very nearly made it, which gave me a sudden surge of mental energy. Now I knew that I had enough in me to finish the ascent without any more breaks. Weary, yet headstrong, taking one tough step after another, with one heavy breath after another, using my hands, my knees and the last sinew of my resilience, I trudged along until there was no more to climb. I had finally ascended the Rupin pass!

Rupin Pass: 15350 feet above sea level

I threw myself on the ground and let the wave of emotions rush through me. The first was of satisfaction. Satisfaction that I could discover my new physical and mental limits, satisfaction that those were enough to finish the climb. Now that the climb was done, looking around, I felt delighted by the sights the mountains and the sky offered. I might use the most superlative form of breathtaking to describe it, and still fall short of explaining Nature’s beauty up there. A new found energy and zeal were now running in my veins. Had I really conquered this height? No. Now I felt humility too, as I had this weird sensation that it was the mountains which allowed me to reach these heights.

We all spent some time there, absorbing everything, taking pictures and congratulating each other. When at last we started to depart, I was the last to pick my backpack up again. As I stood there, I couldn't help but remark how beautiful everything looked. This was an utterly beautiful experience; not just a beautiful place, but an experience. Standing alone, amidst the pure white snow, I looked up at the clear blue sky. It held nothing but the bright sun. Not a single speck of cloud was seen. It was then that I had an epiphany of sorts, about reality and our place in the universe.

The view from Rupin pass

"Here I am, standing at 15,350 feet on the planet Earth. In the solar system, we're just a pale blue dot. A pale blue dot that is going around quite a small star of our galaxy. The star is merely one among the billions in our galaxy. Our galaxy just one among the billion others. Yet, in all that insignificance, the joy and beauty of Nature perceived by this speck of consciousness is overwhelming."

I had goosebumps just then. And I don't think the cold had much to do with it.

Strange Books

Moment by moment, this book grows in size It has many stories: of laughs and cries Of hopes and failures, of moments dumb and wise. Yes you're right, it could even be your life. I turn back these pages many times a day And sometimes I find some chapters are astray Some are completely gone, some I try to tear away But it's still a book I'll have, come what may. Each has one such book, no two are the same Nor can one, to another's, lay claim. These books exist, I'm playing no game I hope you agree, 'coz "Memories" is its name.

Thanks to Yashaswi Ravindra for the idea!

Ocean Tides

On the shore, with a salty breeze on your face

Cold and dour, you walk at a mellow lazy pace

Expanse of dark water, the object of your hazy gaze

Allays your fears, telling you so to face ahead unfazed

'Now see, life's problems are but a drop in this ocean.'

The day turns steadily dark; water retreats beneath your feet

In the moon's growing presence, as tides rise, roar and beat

Down to your new found zeal, you smile feeling upbeat

Eventually with dawn, you know the tides will concede defeat

'See now, life's problems are but like the tides in the ocean.'

Bridges in Life

Come what may, bridges will burn,

The heart differently will yearn, 

Life ensures that you will learn

As events uncontrollably turn.

But the bridge burns, oh it burns.

Who sets off the blazing fire? 

Is it some unknown latent desire? 

Or yet an inexplicable fiery ire? 

Regardless... It leaves one in a mire.

But the bridge burns, oh it burns.

Should I salvage the fallen debris? 

Can I salvage the fallen debris? 

I cower, unable to set myself free, 

Can't watch it burn and just be. 

But the bridge is burnt, oh it's burnt. 

Will this remain a scar forever? 

Will I build another bridge, ever? 

These thoughts, will time finally sever? 

To answer, I alone must endeavour.

But the bridge is burnt, oh it's burnt. 

But hey, you really should be smiling, 

The one across made the bridge worth having, 

The little talks are memories worth keeping, 

Now look ahead to a new beginning. 

Glad the bridge was built, oh it was built.

Some paths will never be taken, 

Many dreams will never truly happen, 

Life is too short, don't remain so shaken, 

Smile again, love again, now awaken. 

Glad the bridge was built, oh it was built.

Mangalyaan

This has to go down as a failed attempt. ISRO's official facebook page of the Mars Orbiter Mission called for posts by users which they would in turn post on their page. I submitted this acrostic, but it wasn't published. The picture in the background is from the MOM.

I play the beautiful game...

With the wind in my hair,

My mind is freed from all care,

I take to the field, my eternal lair.

With the ball at my feet,

My world looks impeccable and neat,

I look for challenges to take on, to beat.

With poetry now set in motion,

My soul achieves its redemption,

I play the beautiful game, in all elation.

Update: 8th June, 2016

Picture this. You’re taken away from something that you love. Taken away from it for reasons that are unclear to you, and reasons which seem ridiculous to you. It was, and it still is, your favourite drug which got you high, your favourite drink that calmed you down, and the one thing that you’d enjoy on any given day, in any given occasion. And now it’s taken away from you in a cruel way, and put beyond your reach for the next 9 to 10 months.

The wait alone will be excruciating. And that’s enough mental stress. But what if you’re made to work hard physically too over the next 10 months? You have to go through pain, through a workout regime that’s only getting tougher, while you inch uncertainly towards your target. You can decide to forget about it and put yourself through only the mental torture of forgetting it. But no. You yearn for it, you need it. You will go through whatever it takes. For you know how it felt.

Then you see others reveling in the happiness that it gives. But you can only see; not feel it yourself. Finally, after enduring through the tough months, you can have it. You’re almost there. But now there’s a new conundrum. A doubt has crept into your mind. After all this time, will it still be the same? After all the efforts, will it be worth it? You’re anxious about the new beginning. Yet, deep down, you know that you would’ve gone through twice the tough times that you did go through, just to be here. Nervously, you reach out.

You feel it again. Instantly you know that you’ve never felt it so good before. Euphoria takes over. Ecstasy will reign.

I suffered an ACL tear while playing football in a corporate tournament. The injury was inflicted by a careless tackle by the opponent. I had to undergo ACL reconstruction surgery if I ever wanted to play again. But the surgery was only the first step towards recovery. For full recovery, I had to go through a rehab protocol, where discipline and patience were of prime importance. Then after 8 months of concerted efforts, I was declared fit to return to football. In this poem, which is an emotional one for me, I’ve tried to capture the way I felt when I took to the field finally.

The Quantum Cat!

Contrary to the intention of leaving quantum theory in knots,

Came this example, which only illustrated the apparent paradox:

Hats off to the cat of Schrodinger, still dead and alive in its box!

An acrostic written on Schrodinger's birthday.